Deadwood... Wales Style

ST LUKE'S: I still haven't caught up on Italy, haven't finished my last day in the North East, this blog feels like it's rearing up over me like a big wave. Still I take a deep breath, dive into the face and hope I pop safely out the other side. Back at work after a weekend of water based adventure type sports in Wales and I thought I'd share my impressions of Swansea while they're still fresh in my head.

I wasn't actually visiting the place, just swapping trains, but on both legs of my journey I was left with about three quarters of an hour to kill. The outward journey wasn't so bad but on my return I needed to find something to eat. The train station is on the Swansea High Street so I figured I'd locate some generic multinational fast food chain and enjoy some type of high fat value meal and reflect on a weekend of exercise.

What I found was something so much different. Like the town in the Western overrun by bandits, almost every shop seemed to be boarded up. Other than a couple of terrible looking pubs and two manky fried chicken shops, the only recognisable buildings were a Job Centre and an Argos outlet. The only people on the streets seemed to be men, in their late twenties, bare chested and tatooed whose behaviour could best be described as lurking with intent. I almost expected a tumbleweed to come rolling down the streets.

I found an off license and decided to stock up on beer. In the off license a slanging match was well under way between the shop keeper and a, presumably, drug addled youth who was, like his two mates outside, shirtless. The exchange went something like this:

Shopkeeper: Get out of here before you get yourself into trouble.
Youth: Awwwwwwww c'marnn. I just wann
Shopkeeper: Get yourself out of here. You've been banned.
Youth: I wasna fucking doing anything. You can't fucking ban. Fuck you.
Shopkeeper: I said fuck off out of my shop you fucking little fuckwit.
Youth:Arrgghhh
Shopkeeper: Fuck off if you know what's good for you.

At about this time I presented my three cans of Heineken for purchase.

Shopkeeper: Sorry about the language. It's the only thing he understands. Make sure you put those in your bag. In the state he's in he'll take 'em.

So I ventured cautiously out into the street in search of fast food but quickly gave up my search for fear of getting knifed with a screwdriver. I went into a shop and ordered a couple of pieces of chicken and some chips. The woman went out the back and then, I kid you not, I swear I saw her give me the finger. When she came back she asked if I wanted salt and vinegar on my chips and then shooed me on my way.

With dinner in my hands I hurried back to the train, only stopping long enough to notice that the two chavs, also bare chested, that had been hanging around the front of the station when I arrived on Friday, where still lounging about in the same clothes.

I swiped my ticket through and scrambled for the safety of the train waiting on the platform. Welcome to Swansea. We hope you enjoy your stay. Indeed.