Sniffing Glue on Smith Street

SHEPHERD'S BUSH: This blog wouldn't be what it was if I didn't republish this gem from marathoner Matty Phillips:

Family of Collingwood supporters head out one Saturday morning to do their Christmas shoplifting . While in Rebel Sports the 8yo son picks up a Brisbane Lions footy jumper and says to his 10 year old sister, "I've decided to become a Lions supporter and I would like this for Christmas". His sister, outraged by this, promptly whacks him round the head with her carton of Winnie Blues and says, "Go and tell Mum.

Off goes the little lad with the Lions footy jumper in hand and finds his mother. "Mum? " "Yes son? " "I've decided I'm going to be a Lions supporter and I would like this jumper for Christmas". The mother is outraged at this and throws her moccasins and a full stubbie of VB at him, promptly whacks him around the head and says, "We'd better talk to your father".

Off they go to Barwon Prison during visiting hours with footy jumper in hand and find Chooka, his father.

"Dad?" "Yes son? " "I've decided I'm going to be a Lions supporter and I would like this jumper for Christmas". The father is outraged and Promptly whacks his son around the head with his fists and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT", and then kicks him from one end of the Rec room to the other for further good measure.

About half an hour later they're all back in the car and heading towards home (St Albans). The mother turns to his son and says "Son, I hope you've learned something today?"

The son says, "Yes I bloody have." "Good son, what is it? " The son replies, "I've only been a Lions supporter for an hour and already I hate you Collingwood p-r-icks".